Parents ask college-aged kid to take care of their farm animals while they're on 10-day vacation despite previously inviting them on the trip: 'I'm trying to set boundaries and do what's best for me'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Oct 15, 2025 10:00 PM EDT

Nobody likes to be left out of a plan. Being excluded from something is one of the worst feelings in the world. It will leave you rejected and reeling with self-doubt. Especially if the people doing that excluding are the ones who are supposed to love you unconditionally. That would have to hurt the most. But what do we do when we feel this rejection? Pretend like it doesn't exist or try to hold those who made you feel that way accountable? It's a hard decision, especially when you live with your family. 

Those are the questions that came up in this story, where a college-aged kid was suddenly saddled with a bunch of responsibilities that they were not ready for. And when it came time to face their parents about this, they weren't so receptive. Is it fair for them to expect their adult child to take care of the house while they are away? Was the child being too precious about their free time and not contributing enough to the household? That's why they reached out to the internet for help. 

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  • A man holds a dog in his lap while studying.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Some commenters thought that this was completely unfair, given their commitments to school and the amount of effort it would take to take care of the animals. Others weren't sure where they fit in on the chain of responsibility. Read on for the story and decide what you think about it. 

  • Am I in the wrong for not wanting to petsit at home for my family on a vacation I thought I was invited to?

    I'll try and keep this as short as possible. Essentially, I live on a farm with horses and dogs, and several other animals inside. The chores for them consist of waking up before 5 AM to feed the horses and all the inside pets and during the middle of the day do the horse chores and same again at night also consistently letting the dogs
    via u/Adventurous-Mess427
  • out throughout the day. On weekdays, there's someone who does the midday horse chores, but not on weekends. My parents are going on a trip and asked if I could pet sit the ten days they'd be away. First of all I was under the assumption I was going with them as it was mentioned before. Second of all, they both tell me I do too much when my current pet
    via u/Adventurous-Mess427
  • sitting and work and should be focusing on school. The dates they asked was during my finals week, or in January but I'm pet sitting the beginning of that month and want to do mini trips since it's a break from school. I already do a lot of chores at home and this is just really annoying me and I don't want to be stuck at home then.
    via u/Adventurous-Mess427
  • They says it's not a lot of an ask but to me it is, I thought I'd go with them on vacation and I don't want to be stuck at home for 10 days. I feel like I may seem ungrateful because they do help me with a lot of things, but I feel like I equally keep up with what they ask me to in daily life. They're the ones that tell me I do too much and to take a
    via u/Adventurous-Mess427
  • break so for them to ask me this and say it's not a big deal just seems wrong. I'm trying to set boundaries and do what's best for me like they say but once it involves them it's apparently an issue. Now they're asking what's wrong with me and what's going on because I simply said this is something I don't want to do. TLDR: my parents are asking a lot of me when I already do so much and I don't feel appreciated rather just taking advantage of half the time.
    via u/Adventurous-Mess427
  • Constant_Host_32... 22h ago • NTA. It seems to me the real issue here is that your parents mentioned you going with them on vacation. So to transition from "yea! I'm going on vacation someplace cool with my parents!" to "oh...I'm staying home and doing chores/taking care of a large amount of animals as unpaid help, while my parents go on vacation without me" is a big letdown.
    via u/Adventurous-Mess427
  • Them asking you to take this on during finals week while telling you you should be focusing on school, is out of the question
    via u/Adventurous-Mess427
  • A dog rests its head on its owner's laptop.
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • ilittledream 22h ago NTA. You already do a ton, and running the farm alone during finals is unreasonable. Setting a boundary isn't ungrateful, it's protecting yourself when they won't
    via u/ilittledream
  • BitterDeep78 • 21h ago Its finals week and you wanted to go on the vacation? Something fishy here.
    via u/BitterDeep78
  • shelwood46 • 21h ago Yeah, why did OP think they were going on this vacation at all when they supposedly have finals. then? And they chose to move to this farm, rent free, but is mad they have to do chores on 2 weekends? None of this makes sense.
    via u/shelwood46
  • No-Needleworker93 22h ago • I mean, more info is probably needed re how they help you and what they usually ask you to do. Also your age. It seems a bit like revenge for not being taken on the trip...were you going to pay your own way or were they footing the bill?
    via u/No-Needleworker93
  • Obviously if you don't want to do it, don't. However, you live with them, they do a lot for you....you can set boundaries but they can respond to those boundaries.
    via u/No-Needleworker93
  • sootfire 22h ago . NTA. You already have plans. Either you have finals or you're going on your own vacation.
    via u/sootfire
  • . orangeblossomsare · 22h ago Nta. I have the same thing going on in my house but I'm the parent. We invited our college age child out of town to visit family for the holidays. She declined because she thought she'd be working. Great she can watch our dogs. Then she seemed mopey and said she felt
    via u/orangeblossomsare
  • uninvited which confused me. She said since she hadn't found a job yet she was hoping to go. Can you talk to your parents? Sometimes we just assume or make mistakes.
    via u/orangeblossomsare
  • Antique_Elk7826 21h ago . NTA Your family chose to live on a farm. If they want a vacation they need to pay someone to maintain the farm while they are gone. Asking a college student to do it on their own and you said something about exams? No way.
    via u/Antique_Elk7826
  • ThatOn3N3rd - 22h ago • NTA. I have always treated exam times as sacred, where no extra tasks, appointments or chores are to be assigned.
    via u/ThatOn3N3rd
  • Cute-Transition3234 21h ago • "I'm trying to set boundaries and do what's best for me like they say but once it involves them it's apparently an issue." Yes a person often doesn't like seeing their loved one being over-worked ... unless the over-working is for the benefit of the person.
    via u/Cute-Transition3234
  • What if you be said to your parents "I realize I need to move out sooner rather than later because 10 days of me doing all the farm chores is too much for me". This could scare your parents "ok no worries, we will arrange for someone else to sort out the farm for those 10 days". Or it could annoy your parents "no worries OP, if you need to leave you need to leave" and then you look silly if you carry on living with them for a few more years.
    via u/Cute-Transition3234
  • You are NTA. But this could be tricky to solve, unless you could actually move out (which of course brings its own challenges).
    via u/Cute-Transition3234
  • Separate-Parfait6... 21h ago Let them know that this doesn't work for you. Tell them that they need to schedule their vacations so that they are not during exam times (even mid-semester) or while you are on break from school (assuming that during the regular part of the
    via u/Separate-Parfait6426
  • semester it is not too much). Also, they need to ask you far enough in advance so that you do not schedule other pet sitting. If you pay rent to live at home, I would also ask them to pay what you get paid for pet sitting. If/when they say no to this, let them know that they will need to hire somebody, because you cannot do it.
    via u/Separate-Parfait6426
  • Sheibe123 • 21h ago NTA. Tell them you have to concentrate on studying for your exams so they need to find someone else. No need to mention that you thought you were going on the trip with them as they will think you are refusing because of sour grapes. Just tell them you are focusing on school and cannot help.
    via u/Sheibe123
  • beerdrinker125 21h ago . So you can go away for 10days without it affecting your funks, yet you can't look after the animals. Hmmm im going against the grain, yta. When was the last time your parents had a break without kids? Suck it up, and feed the pets for a week.
    via u/beerdrinker125
  • Sad_Entertainment.... 21h ago This is difficult without age or information on who is paying for what. If this is an adult living rent free with their parents and getting college paid for YTA
    via u/Sad_Entertainment758
  • Wildcar_d 21h ago . Nta. This should have been a clear conversation and asking rather than expecting you to do something.
    via u/Wildcar_d
  • Update: thank you to everyone who gave advice, I really appreciate hearing all of the perspectives and sides. I've decided to do the chores, but I made it clear I was upset this was sprung on me when I had previously been under the impression that whenever this trip was taking place I was supposed to go with them.
    via u/Adventurous-Mess427

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aita pets kids teenagers moms parenting dad cute kids reddit thread parent Reddit pet sitting raising kids farm animals Parenting Fail animals parents children Parenting FAILS
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